Today I know the name of that miracle and it is Grace. Abundant, Grace. There's no event that He does not or cannot make beautiful. And she's the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on.
I do hope the Lord would grant me the privilege of hosting another miracle. I've wavered back and forth with wanting another and then not and being okay if I didn't to really hoping for another. The lonely part wants another because it means a man companion for life will be attached. The exhausted part doesn't because, well, it's exhausting. :) I'm not sure what the Lord would have for me, but I trust He knows the desires of my heart, since He placed them there to begin with. And if it is His will for another bun in the oven, He'll make it so.
I joke sometimes about running out of time and I sure hope He works soon, and quick, if it is to be so! And then I ponder Abraham and Sarah, and Mary. Age is no determiner of God's plans, and neither is the seeming impossibility of physical limitation!
Regardless of the difficulty of circumstance that surrounded my pregnancy and motherhood, bringing life, into life, is what I was created to do. I've never known anything more absolutely in my life. If I could, I might have a whole bushel of children (19 and counting, anyone?)...but I won't. Kinda beyond possibility, even though I believe in a God who can do crazy miracles.
Perhaps it's not my lot to have 19 and counting children, but I do know equally as absolutely that I've (we've all) been called to bring/escort/chaperone life, into life, laboring various other forms of love via a multitude of other methods; laboring Grace into existence. I do not feel equipped for the task sometimes, but all He asks is to walk one step at a time with Him; we can do all things through He who strengthens us. No sense in digesting an entire watermelon in one bite. That babe birthed from me did not happen overnight, nor will any other life birthed from adversity. But abundant and joy filled life from adversity is a promise, for those whose Hope is in Him. And I will gladly partake of the laboring process for He who has given ME life. :)